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The Day the Twins Almost Enjoyed Captain Jack Sparrow
“Should we do it?” “I don’t know–they could really like it, but they also could really hate it.” “Yeah, I know. But how often are we here?” “Never.” “Exactly. If we don’t go now, we might not get to at...
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A Bedtime Story
My daughter hooked her arm securely around mine as I held her at my hip–a cripplingly cute mannerism of hers that melts me to my core every single time. Vocalizing airplane sound effects, I made an...
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Lesser Known Things Tiggers Do Best: A Non-Exhaustive List
1. Managing personal finances 2. Remembering whether or not they are running out of milk at home 3. Creating iTunes playlists for road trips 4. Knowing the name of that one actor in that one movie you...
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The Tap-Dancing Butt Crack
The warm water ran down my back, washing away 36 hours of sweat and grime. I systematically defunkified each of my body’s nether regions with my extremely manly loofah and inhaled the warm, misty scent...
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Two Easters
ONE YEAR AGO… I awoke to a pixie whisper in my ear. “Daddy!” my daughter hissed. “I fink da Easter Bunny came!” “He did?” I yawned. “Well, I guess we’d better go wake up your brother and see what he...
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